Under the Big Top
If you live in New York City and aren’t a member of Groupon, you’re missing out. They offer daily deals on events, classes and services in and around the city. I heard about it last time I got my hair cut. My stylist was listing out all of the offers she’d taken advantage of, and when she said “Bollywood dance classes,” I was sold.
Sadly, I missed the Bollywood dance classes, but I couldn’t resist the introductory class at New York Circus Arts. I’ve been obsessed with aerial silks ever since Evan and I saw a burlesque performer at One Eyed Jacks in New Orleans do an amazing silks act, and then a week later, there was Pink at the Grammys. I thought about who on my IM list would immediately agree to do something so nutty with me, and who would be good company. Summer, of course. A few minutes later we were registered and ready to go. Our class was this past Saturday.
Now, the first thing you need to know about me is that I’m a klutz. Like, if they offered courses in being a klutz, they’d just send me an honorary degree — I wouldn’t even have to show up for a class. Summer admitted she was looking forward to some klutzy hilarity from me. I did not disappoint.
First, our sexy teacher Gino announced that we’d be doing handstands. Now, I’ve spent the better part of my adult life avoiding doing handstands in yoga classes, so I wasn’t terribly excited about this development. But I had signed up for circus school, so I was going to be a sport and get my circus on, upside-down.
And then not only did I fall when I attempted to do my handstand, but I managed to bring down Gino with me. Awesome. Summer was in stitches.
Next we moved on to trampoline. I’m not sure if this is because, as women, we tend to be polite and accommodating, but despite the fact that we were not situated in any sort of line, we went in exactly the same order that we went in for handstands, and that was to be our order for the entire day.
I watched each person get on the trampoline and was puzzled by the look of panic that came over each face after the first jump. Then it was my turn, and I immediately understood. This wasn’t the small, round trampolines of our youth — no, this was powerful, and when you take that first jump, you have a “whoa” moment, wherein you realize that you’re getting a lot more air than you bargained for or know what to do with.
We did some basic stuff — jump, sit, stand, do a somersault. Then Gino did a demonstration of jumping, then sitting, then twisting your body around to the other side, then sitting again, then standing. Everyone laughed, and there were some “yeah right”s thrown in for good measure. One by one, every member of the group more or less failed.
Then it was my turn, and I too, more or less failed, with an emphasis on the “more.” I went the extra mile, though, and landed and then skidded on my elbow, tearing it open. It immediately began bleeding profusely.
One I got the bleeding under control, we moved onto pairs juggling. Summer and I had some issues, as you can imagine a partnership between someone who is 5′11″ (Summer) and someone who is 5′4″ (Me) juggling together might. Still, we considered practicing and taking our act on the road under the name “Pink Glitter.”
After juggling, we did some trapeze. Here are some heinously unattractive pictures of the two of us doing that:
See the big bandage on my elbow?
After trapeze, we moved onto aerial silks, which I had been looking forward to all afternoon. I quickly realized that I have no upper body strength. None. Zero. But if someone were to hoist me up — first Gino and then Summer, I could manage to get myself inverted.
After the silks, we were done. The intro to circus arts class was tons of fun, and I’d recommend it to anyone. And it made me realize that, while I was something of a daredevil in my younger days, I’ve gotten too cautious in my old age. I need to push myself more, get out of my comfort zone, do things that make me nervous or in some cases, terrified. Which is why I’m going to sign up for the aerial silks course, the full-length one, despite the fact that I have an often crippling fear of heights.
But first, I’m going to bulk up to the point where I can actually do a push-up or two. And maybe I should warn the teacher than I’m something of a danger to myself and others.
